Second Chances
by Jocasta Silver
Summary: When Cassandra was looking for the other Seekers, she wasn't expecting to find her soulmates.
Author's Note: Yes, I'm back and with the Merrill matchmaker story. Don't worry, she and Cullen also have some issues to work out.

Disclaimer: I don't own _Dragon Age_. This is owned by Bioware.

Second Chances

" _Redemption is not perfection. The redeemed must realize their imperfections."_ -John Piper

Officially, Cassandra was answering a message she'd received from some of the surviving Seekers. Unofficially, she was escaping from the sopping love fest Skyhold had become. Trevelyan and Dorian had hooked up, Cullen and Merrill attempted to have a real relationship, and Josephine was courted by Isabela. While she wanted to be happy for her friends, Cassandra still felt a pang of jealousy. She had two soulmarks. The first appeared when she was three and said "look, you forget you saw me, and I'll do the same". It was most certainly not the stuff of romance that most girls, including Cassandra, dreamed of. The second soulmark appeared not long after the end of the Blight in Fereldon. It simply yelled "YOU WILL NOT HARM HER". Apparently, her first and second soulmates disagreed on her.

Now she approached one of the surviving Seekers. "Mikhail, it good to see you alive."

"Cassandra Pentaghast," he said with disgust. "I was almost hoping that the Lord Seeker took care of you. At least I can help finish the job."

Well, shit. There were five Seekers and only one of her. She attacked Mikhail; slashing until she hit her mark and blood sprayed over her armor. The others unfortunately, quickly surrounded making escape impossible.

"YOU WILL NOT HARM HER!" A blue, glowing abomination raced out of the woods, taking on two of her opponents. Meanwhile, Cassandra focused on fighting the remaining two Seekers. They were tough, but she had more experience.

After she finished them off, she held her sword up against the very familiar person. While she may not have met him, she knew that this was the abomination who started all their problems. "Don't get any closer!" she hissed.

Anders didn't look angry though, now that his spirit friend was out of the picture, just very tired. "Look, you forget you saw me and I'll do the same."

"Fine." She lowered her sword and watched as the blond man cautiously walked away and disappeared from her view. This really wasn't Cassandra's day.

…

"It was our soulmate," Justice kept whispering. He'd been obsessed with finding their third ever since they'd merged to save Anders' butt from being hauled back by the templars. Anders almost missed the old days when Justice was apathetic to their connection. He, personally, never cared since the odds of him finding his soulmate seemed remote.

"She's a seeker of truth, she would have killed us if she wasn't tired from taking out those other people." Yes, Anders knew about the Seekers of Truth. They were supposed to keep the Templar Order in check. Judging from the wrongs committed in Kirkwall, they failed miserably.

"There was something odd about her," he muttered.

"You know you could stand to obsess less about her." Anders would admit that she was attractive with her angular face and black hair cropped short. But knowing most templars and seekers, she'd probably turn him in with a clear conscious. Later that evening, he lay down in a sheltered glen, and fell asleep.

 **It was another one of his dreams with Karl, the one person he'd genuinely grown attached to in spite of himself.**

 **"You killed me you know," he said.**

 **"I'm sorry," Anders whispered, salty tears streaming down his face. "You asked that I end it." Killing Karl was one of the hardest things he'd ever done, in spite of the fact that he knew that Karl hated the thought of living as a Tranquil.**

 **"You could have saved me, instead you selfishly chose to end me." Karl grabbed Anders' throat with his bare hands and began to strangle. Anders didn't fight it. It was no more than he deserved after what he'd done.**

Anders jolted awake, tightly clinging to his bedroll. For a dream, that had been unusually vivid. It wouldn't have been the first time a Desire demon decided to take advantage, although ever since he'd merged with Justice, that hadn't been a problem.

"That wasn't a demon," Justice replied. "Just your overactive mind dreaming up what you believe you deserve."

Damn, Anders really did hate when Justice was right. That did not mean that Justice didn't desperately need to lay off his seeker obsession.

…

Cassandra was torn between wanting to know more or just forgetting that she met her soulmate. It did explain why a part of her felt eager to examine what was referred to as the "Kirkwall Situation". As Cullen explained it, soulmates could feel an innate pull towards each other, even prior to a first meeting. She needed to talk to someone about this, preferably someone who could keep their mouth shut, which Varric as knowledgeable as he was of Anders was off the list. Cassandra still wasn't entirely sure if she could trust Merrill or Isabela. That really left only one option, as infuriating as he was.

"So the Seeker graces me with her presence." Solas was sitting cross-legged in his room with the colorful murals. "I would guess that this isn't a social call."

"What if hypothetically one of your soulmates was a spirit?" she asked, attempting to keep her tone casual.

"I would think that would be impossible, since your Chantry claims that spirits don't have souls."

"Well technically, this one is possessing the other soulmate."

"Cassandra, I don't pretend to be an expert in soulmate situations," Solas admitted. "However, might I suggest that perhaps you actually get to know the person before you jump to conclusions about their personality."

She couldn't fault his logic, even if he didn't know the full situation. It took every amount of persuasive skill she had to convince Cullen to let her leave, and she agreed to take Merrill along, in addition to Solas. She couldn't blame Cullen for worrying that she might walk into another ambush. He seemed tired, as Merrill kissed him good-bye.

"Don't worry, we'll look after Cassandra," she reassured him.

"I know you will Merrill," he replied.

The exchange between two bonded soulmates sent a pang of jealousy through Cassandra. She was relieved when the pair broke apart and the group set off. When they put some distance between themselves and Skyhold, Cassandra focused on where her inner self was urging her to go. After a half hour a fruitless search she called out, "I know you're there. I'm not here to bring you in, I just want to talk."

Finally, Anders emerged from behind a tree, tightly gripping his staff. "Well if that's the case…Merrill what are you doing here?"

Merrill suddenly became very interested in staring at the ground. "I volunteered to come along with Cassandra."

That gave Cassandra a moment to make a decision. "Merrill, Solas would you mind walking over there and waiting for me?"

Solas looked like he wanted to argue, but Merrill nodded. "That sounds fine. Just yell if you need any help." She whispered something to Solas who reluctantly nodded and followed her.

"So, I just wanted to say 'thank you'. I'm not sure I would have survived that ambush if you hadn't come along."

Anders shrugged. "It was more Justice you should thank, since he was the one who wanted to head in that direction. Plus, he wouldn't shut up afterwards."

She wasn't sure if having a spirit who cared about her welfare that much was sweet or creepy. "I was under the impression that you and Justice were one."

"Well, it depends if we agree or not," he explained. "If we agree then our thoughts are one, but when we disagree, we become divided so to speak. It's complicated, and not easy to explain."

"I suppose so. Actually there's something you should know about the rite of Tranquility. It can be reversed."

Anders' mouth was wide in disbelief. "And how do you know this?"

Cassandra hesitated before dropping her bombshell. "Because it's what they do to the Seekers of Truth."

"What?!" he screamed, and for a moment his face glowed blue before it subsided.

"They do it to us, and then they put a spirit of faith inside us to get our emotions back."

"That's messed up," he said. "But it would explain why Justice thought you felt odd."

"I know, to be honest, a part of me is angry that they did it to me without my permission."

He reached out a hand and gently squeezed her right hand. Strangely the gesture felt reassuring. "You might want to leave before Justice comes out again. I don't know if I can hold him back a second time."

"Sure." She called Solas and Merrill back and they departed, leaving Anders behind. Cassandra attempted to pretend that leaving him wasn't physically painful.

…

Anders was in turmoil. On one hand, he was grateful that Cassandra told him the truth. On the other hand, he mourned that he could have saved Karl, if he'd only known the way. The man may have not been his soulmate the way Justice and Cassandra were, but he loved him.

 **"I wouldn't have harmed her,"** Justice grumped. **"She is my soulmate also."**

"No offense, but you make people nervous." After the whole destroying the Kirkwall chantry, Justice was attempting to rein himself in a bit better, but he still slipped sometimes, especially if they encountered templars and seekers. Normally, Anders didn't complain about it, but this was different.

 **"Even Cassandra?"** Justice seemed sad at the thought that their mutual soulmate feared him.

"She just needs to get used to you," Anders replied, as he composed a letter to Merrill, who apparently was with Cassandra for whatever reason. He needed advice about what to do next, and she was the only one of his former allies who would respond.

…

Merrill attempted not to think too hard about how Anders managed to smuggle a letter into Skyhold. It was strange that he was Cassandra's soulmate, even odder than Josephine and Isabela, which was saying something. After reading the letter's contents several times, she decided to pay Varric a visit, and hope that the dwarf was in an agreeable mood.

"So what can I do for you this morning, Daisy?" Varric inquired.

"So, let's say hypothetically that you knew Cassandra's soulmate, what advice would you give about courting her."

"Does this have anything to do with that mysterious trip you, Solas and Cassandra took?"

Merrill paused and thought a moment before she replied, "yes."

"Well when it comes to the Seeker, she is a romantic at heart, so you would need candles, a book of her favorite poetry, and flowers. Does that help?" He sounded thoughtful, and not the grump he'd been since they'd fled Kirkwall.

"Yes, that does help a lot." Merrill just hoped Varric wouldn't hate her too much, when he found out who Cassandra's soulmate was. After she wrote the reply letter, she pondered how she was to deliver it to Anders.

"I can help." Cole stood across from her. While, he had become somewhat less enigmatic, since he was "becoming more human" as Varric put it, he still made her somewhat nervous. "I helped them get the letter to you last time."

"Sure," she said. "Just be careful out there. We still have the red templars to deal with."  
"I'm not a child," Cole muttered petulantly. "And I am able to look after myself." He left, and Merrill was left to hope that somehow things would work out for her friends.

…

Cassandra when she arrived at the location Anders named for their meeting. She combed her short hair, and dressed in more revealing small clothes then she normally would. It was a set that Galyan surprised her with for a birthday a couple of years ago. She still wore her armor, since it wasn't safe to be gallivanting outside of Skyhold in anything else. The awkward part was bringing Merrill and Cole along with her, although they both assured her that they would camp a decent distance away. When she arrived in the clearing, she noticed that there were candles lining the way.

Anders entered and smiled, holding a book. He began to speak, declaiming a poem that was banned, but she always secretly liked.

Cassandra smiled. "Carmenun di amatus. It's one of my favorites."

"I could say some more of it if you like," Anders offered, winking.

She playfully slapped him, and grabbed the book. "His lips on mine speak words not voiced, a prayer," she declaimed. "Which travels down my spine like flames that shatter night. His eyes reflect the stars, the Maker's Light. My body opens, filled and blessed, my spirit there."

Anders glowed blue at those words, but Cassandra wasn't afraid this time. She knew instinctively they both loved her. "Not merely housed in flesh, but brought to life. Would you like to read another?"

In response, she kissed him firmly and pushed him gently on to the grass and they began.

…

Afterwards, when they lay there Anders noted, "The last time I was this happy was with Karl." He stopped, ashamed that he'd broken the cardinal rule of not mentioning an old flame, especially to a soulmate.

However, Cassandra didn't seem bothered. She linked arms with him. "The last time I was truly happy was with Galyan, the man who helped me save the Divine."

"What happened to him?" Anders inquired.

"He died at the Conclave," she replied.

"Oh, I'm sorry." And he understood that her feelings for her late lover were like his for Karl.

"No, it's an old wound now, and I know that he died doing what he liked most, serving others."

They snuggled for a bit longer, but finally got dressed, and embraced. After she left, Anders had a grin on his face for the rest of the day. Both he and Justice were content now that they finally found their soulmate.

…

A couple of days after their expedition, Merrill walked in on an argument between Cassandra and Cullen.

"If I fail in my duties than everything I have done will have been for nothing." Just then he noticed her. "Forgive me," he said and walked out the door.

"And people say I'm stubborn," Cassandra grumbled. Apparently, the happy euphoria from her time with Anders had worn off. "Were you aware that Cullen stopped taking lyrium?"

Merrill nodded. "I know and I support him."

"As do I. Mages have shown their grievances to the world; templars never have. The Chantry used them until their minds are lost, and they die a slow, painful death. Cullen has the opportunity to break free of his lyrium leash. I knew he possessed the strength to do so the moment I met him. If he succeeds, others will realize that it is possible."

"All right then, I see if I can talk some sense into him." Merrill headed up to Cullen's room where she narrowly dodged a vial.

"Maker's breath, I didn't hear you enter." Cullen sounded genuinely apologetic.

"Cullen…"

"I'm sorry, I thought that I could be better than this. And in the end, I'm still the monstrous man who followed Meredith and allowed so many atrocities to be committed."

"Cullen," Merrill said. "There's something you should know. About the day I took Hawke to speak with Audacity. Varric lied; it wasn't so I could overpower it. It was in case Audacity took control of me; Hawke would be there to finish me off so I wouldn't hurt anyone else."

Tears streamed down Cullen's eyes. "Maker."

"I know, I think a part of me felt I deserved to punished, just as you do now. But you don't and Cassandra believes that you are strong enough to go without the lyrium."

"I just don't know if I can go without lyrium and be a good commander for the Inquisition."

"I believe in you Cullen," she said and closed the distance, kissing him. Cullen returned the kiss, molding their lips together.

When they broke apart he said, "All right, I will keep trying." Maybe this was a day of second chances for her, Anders, Cullen, and Cassandra.

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this story and as always please read and review.


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